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Friday, February 12, 2016

Yes, YES, Y E S ! ! ! Muhahahahahahahaha


It's a rare occasion when a mild mannered runner realizes the full potential of his super power and his journey culminates in the birth of a mad scientist. 

Flasks full of smoking green shit. Jacob's Ladders. Lots of fire. All the things a guy(who isn't operating on an entirely charged set of batteries) needs to have fun. Of course it didn't start out this way....

Early in my running career, I discovered that I do have some natural talent. I was instantly adept at getting injured. My knees are considerably less committed to running than I am and loved to show their control over my hobby(err Obsession? Addiction?). This meant a lot of time sitting at home staring out of the window as everyone else ran in the beautiful weather.

Did you pick up on that little part? "The beautiful weather"? It didn't take long to find this pattern. EVERY SINGLE TIME I get injured, the weather gets beautiful. Naturally Newtons Third of Law Motion takes over and my return to running means a meteorological event on a sucktastic scale. Not a very useful superpower for evil. Not bad if I were the good guy kind of superhero. Everyone would love me for the kick ass weather but running has made me dark and greedy. You aren't going to be so lucky, for this has all changed!

This week I broke the code! I've mastered my manipulation of the weather. I am suffering! I'm suffering from an unhealed IT Band injury. It has torn the marathon attempt from my grasp and filled me with rage. A rage so powerful I have found the clarity to control my influence over the weather. With this new influence I've taken my vengeance upon my fellow runners. I have forced snow and cold from my frost filled heart to plunge your city into the ice ages and shall hold the warmth of your pathetic little sun hostage until I have been freed by the grips that have taken hold on my IT Band 

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!


TL;DR?
Monday's do or die run sucked. IT Band went out at the 3 mile mark. That was the point of no return. Not enough time left to train for the marathon so I'm tapping out. Working on getting healed up and will run the triple crown and the half marathon. I'll give it another shot in '17!

Besides....Without risks, what joy would you find in reaching for the stretch goals anyway?


Friday, February 5, 2016

My future hangs in the balance!


Hangs in the balance. That's probably just a tad to the dramatic side of reality but the title has a very important history to it(Where important = ridiculous and irrelevant). I first heard it when I was a kid watching Star Trek and thought it sounded cool. I've waited some 30 years for an opportunity to use it, so get over it! <grin>

The truth is, I am in a bit of a situation. I may be forced into a decision about my training.

As always, I have to have a goal to keep pushing forward. After thinking things over(and possibly some gentle nudging by a couple of folks), I had decided to train for, and run(or slowly waddle compared to some of the folks I "run" with) the Kentucky Derby Festival Marathon. Sounded like a great idea so why not?

The first 3 weeks of training were amazing. Training with like minded runners with a common goal. Meeting new people. Forging friendships. We also got to run while doing this all. WIN! 

Unfortunately (Or fortunately from the, self proclaimed interesting, blogging angle), things never continue to go my way.....






WTF is an IT Band?

I would have figured it's a bunch of nerds jamming out the Super Mario Brothers theme, on cheap, poorly tuned electric guitars. This, of course, is why it's unhealthy for me to try and figure out stuff on my own(Google FTW).

The IT band, is short for the Iliotibial* band. It's a piece of connective tissue that runs from the hip to the knee on the outside of the leg(more like near the outside. Most of us keep skin over them). It's purpose is to improve stability during dynamic movement.  Basically a big ass bungee cord that provides tension.

Then there's the other role it plays. Causing pain! It gets inflamed and causes crazy pain on the outside of the knee. Naturally I know this first hand because that's what happened the night after our long run at the end of week 4 (12 miles). That was last Saturday

It was actually bugging me a bit on the run but was tolerable. As the day progressed however, it got increasingly worse. I woke up Sunday in a ton of pain. I could hardly walk and had a wicked limp. This lasted right through Monday before it began to lighten up. By Wednesday I was walking again and as of tonight(Friday) I'm pain free. I can still feel things aren't right yet though.

I know how to rehab this and I'm doing everything possible to heal but time is the one aspect I can't control(I can barely afford a Kia. How the hell could I get a DeLorean?).

So where does this leave me? I need to run on Monday. I don't know if my leg will be ready to handle it. If it is, we are back in business. If it's not, I fear I will have to give up the dream of running the marathon this year. Another week off will set me too far behind in training to catch up safely. I'll need to switch to the half marathon. The performance of my leg on Monday solely holds the secret of what the near future will bring(Damn that's irritating).

In the meantime, I'm scratching my forearms having running withdrawals

...until Monday


*Iliotibial is an ancient Aztec word meaning "No f***ing way they'll be able to pronounce this one"