Heel Strike. It's not just for discipline anymore!

Heel Strike. It's not just for discipline anymore!

I'm resurrecting my blog to discuss an issue using a serious approach. This is not the norm for my writing style(I have style?). In fact, the majority of my readers (like 4 people?) have come to know me as sarcastic and satirical(as well as poorly skilled). That being said, I am going to try my best to discuss something real, and if I'm lucky, find a way to wiggle in some of my self proclaimed "humor". If I fail, this will be a typical blog(5 minutes you can never get back). Laugh at me, laugh with me, but just laugh, at least a little. Who knows, you may even learn something along the way.

So today I'd like to discuss mud wrestli, heel striking(and perhaps some random running crap I may find myself yapping about).....

Many of the running professionals blogs, books, and cave paintings tell you that that heel striking is worse for you than cigarettes rolled in bacon, but why? Do we ever ask them why? Usually not. We just trust them and work on forming that elusive mid foot strike. We just buy into what we have been told over and over without even wondering the why's.

It is my intention to demonstrate to you today, that I am actually a skilled writer(albeit poorly skilled) as well as why the heel strike isn't actually the problem. Your stride is!

Pssst: This one may be a little long(Mike? Overly wordy? Go figure). Stay with me. it's worth it!

So when we see an unskilled runner running, it often looks something like this....

Of course, if you happen to be at a local "beer run" it may look a bit more like this...

Ok, so what's the problem? Well with the second image, the problem is simply that you're supposed to run, then drink. This runner has their priorities mixed up (or perhaps perfectly straight?). Now the first guy, not so much. This person's form is worse than, um, even mine but is the heel strike causing the issue? Let's find out.

It's time for some physics. Fortunately for you, I don't actually know much about physics, so the odds of this part being over your head aren't likely that great. Stick with me and it'll make sense (I hope).

Well as you can see, using my elite artistic skills, I've added a beautiful addition to the above photo. I call it a "line". Pretty slick, eh? It does actually serve a purpose. It's an arrow but I don't know how to make an arrow head on an angled line so just imagine it, ok? It's showing you the direction of impact forces applied to your leg as you land with it out in front of you while moving forward. They say that running applies 3 to 4 times your body weight when you strike. This means that if this is a 150 lb man(obviously, he isn't me, even if his feet are comically large like mine), the force traveling in the direction of the pseudoarrow is applying 450-600 lbs of pressure. You may notice that force is pushing directly against this persons leg thereby compressing his/her knee joint. This is bad. Knee joints hate to absorb hundreds of pounds of force. This guy looks fast but he's destroying his knees (which he actually doesn't appear to have)., I'm sure you noticed, but his heel was the first thing to touch the ground. That dreaded heel strike is ruining his knees. Or is it?

Now we will look at someone who has good running form (also(especially) not me).

Ready for another horrible red pseudoarrow?

Ok, you can probably see a couple of things here. First, and very importantly, this guy is running in the wrong direction. We will just have to deal with the fact. It's free clip art.  Secondly, his leading leg is landing under him instead of way out in front of him, thereby changing how the force is applied to his body. This is good form. The runner's knees aren't absorbing the shock of the strike because the direction of force is no longer compressing the leg.

So what fixed the problem? Was it stopping the heel strike that changed the whole situation? NOPE. It's where his foot made contact with the ground that caused it. When your foot lands out in front of you, force is applied to your knee. When it lands under you, the force is harmlessly disbursed behind you.

So essentially it's practically not possible to over stride while striking on your mid-foot. Over-striding almost always includes heel striking. We tell people to stop heel striking because it it's easier to tell them that and trick them into fixing their issue rather than to explain the actual issue. 

Let's take a look at our final stickrunner...

So he's heel striking, but he isn't over striding. Can you guess the direction of the force? Is it compressing the knee? Nope. So much for that devilish heel strike being the problem.

Here's something else to consider.....

Any time your foot is touching the ground in front of your body, it serves no purpose other than to slow you down. Running is done by the push off behind you. Your front foot landing on the ground is simply how you pull it back in and set it up to push off with. If it hits in front of you and compresses your front leg, it's actually slowing you down. Think about it.

So shall we take this a step further? Now that we know about the downsides of over striding, let's explore the upside of not doing it (Shouldn't our fondness of functional knees be gift enough? Let's be greedy)....

So you've done it(and maybe I'll even teach you how). You've stopped overstriding. Your knees are going to survive a little longer. Is that it? We haven't even gotten to the best part yet (again, aside from the whole knee saving thing). SPEEEEEEEEED! <drools>.

That's right. A proper stride makes you faster. Think about it. If your feet are spending less time out in front of you, and you've presumably not gained the innate ability to float longer, they are spending an increased amount of time under and behind you, setting up to, and pushing off. More pushing off = more win!

Ok, so, um, then how do I stop over-striding?

I'm glad I asked!! It's actually not all that hard, but may take a bit of practice. In fact, two of the biggest tricks, your mom taught you....

1) Stand up straight! You heard her. Posture is the easiest way to improve your running form. Stand up straight!! Nice and tall. It's actually a lot more difficult to over-stride when you do this. Give it a try. Put that wicked tight washboard abs core to work(If your washboard looks a bit more like a pillow, it's ok. Me too. This stuff still works)!

2) BABY STEPS! I bet you've heard that approach before? This time I want you to take it literally. Take smaller, quicker steps. It's hard to over-stride when you take baby steps. Get your google on and check out "Running Cadence". You'll see a lot of articles out there that talk about it and how to improve it. In fact, these steps I'm teaching you (or trying) right now improve your cadence.

And lastly, use visualization. Picture yourself pushing off with each step. Focus your attention on that aspect of your stride. Push, push, push, push. It's the only part of running that propels you. Everything else you do is merely setting your next leg up to push off.

Am I correct? Maybe? For my last trick, I want to show you a video for a couple of different reasons. I want you to look at Meb's stride. See where his feet land, see how efficiently he runs. Doesn't over-stride, and the vast majority of his feet's time is spent pushing off. Not floating in the air and certainly not reaching out in front of him. The other reason I show you a video of Meb? Because, MEB!! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_P1Y6b1RXM0&t=21s (Yep, I'm making you click for yourself)

Well there you have it. I've presented you the information from my research, personal testing, and studying of a running legend. It's up to you. Just remember, I'm not a professional runner nor a very good blogger so take it for what it's worth

When the shit goes down - AKA Race report n'stuff

When the shit goes down, you better be ready.....  I've probably interpreted those lyrics a bit out of context from the original meaning but they are quite applicable as I delve into the rarely discussed dark side of running. Most people are afraid to talk about it and act like it doesn't happen, but I'll take a queue from my blogging hero (Beth Ridson) and embrace the hidden reality of it all and discuss this crap(yeah, I went there).

For years, my master bedroom's bathroom toilet has been broken (literally). The porcelain was cracked (most likely from my formerly gargantuan sized ass) rendering the Throne of Running Contemplation in disrepair. With the upcoming Kentucky Derby Festival Minimarathon, I felt it important to return my kingdom to its lost glory so I can prepare for my race with my post coffee, oatmeal and quinoa ritual in it's proper place, lest it manifest it's rage around mile 8 (Portolet. A shitty<OMG he did it again> alternative).

It was actually not that difficult a task. A friend explained how to change it out and it's fairly straight forward. I must admit the wax ring was a bit on the disgusting side once I learned it's actual use (I was rather appalled at the flavor when I initially thought it was a free donut).

In the end, the kingdom of HolyCrapThisGuyIsSlow has been returned to what it once was and here I sit upon my throne as I would later do, finally at peace, in preparation for my great race.

The Night Before - AKA Race Preparation:
* Pick up race packet: Check (ok, I actually did this Thursday but the list ended up a bit short)
* Eat dinner: Make sure and use the race as justification to consume way more carbs than you should.
* Take Girlfriend for Horse and Buggy Ride: Check
* Bottle our own bourbon: Because, well, BOURBON!!
* Get car slammed into: Make sure this is done at an hour you should already be home and in bed sleeping so you can invent new vulgarities as you wait for the police to arrive.

Ike

Jim Beam Urban Stillhouse Select

Ain't that a bitch?

Race Day:
So we're lined up in the chute. There are approximately eleventeen million people around us and we are 5 minutes from the gun. I commented (like an idiot) that Karri had the tag on the outside of her running shorts(Problem #1). She was not pleased with this knowledge (but not upset at me for the observation). Bathrooms? In 5 minutes? NOT. We are in the middle of a colossal croud.....

I don't know if everyone has a girlfriend with no inhibitions or I just hit the jackpot but I assure you she has a level of braveness that I don't aspire to achieve. Another way to say this might be that she dropped trou in front of anyone who wanted to watch and rectified the situation. SHE ROCKS!! Amazingly, nobody seemed to notice or care. Ahh runners.

Within a mile into the race, Karri discovered her new hydration belt (no, this was not her first time wearing it) was not tight enough (Problem #2). The designers of this particular belt decided to use an adjustment system that requires a combination of Origami, Thumb Wrestling and Brazilian Jujitsu, all rather difficult to perform while running. As she was attempting to remedy this, my FlipBelt bottle flew out the back of my belt(Problem #3), assaulting a fellow runner. I had to turn around, slalom back to it, and catch back up to Karri. I had to carry that thing another 4 miles until it was empty. (YAY) She hadn't had the greatest success in her quest to adjust her belt while running in my absence. I offered to stop while she did it but she wasn't having any of that(things are going wonderfully so far, eh?). She finally gave up. Naturally this happened only after the whole mess gave her a tension headache(problem #4) to stack on top of the back discomfort(Problem #5) a bouncy belt was causing.

...And then the rain came(Yeah, I love those "...and then" transitions. /shrug). it actually wasn't that bad so I wont increment the "problem number". In fact, I was feeling pretty overheated in the run and found the rain (beginning in mile 3 or 4) to be rather relaxing. Of course 7 or 8 miles later, my shirt sticking to my, well, pretty much everything, got a bit irritating(but due to gobs upon gobs of Body Glide, it was only emotionally irritating. As for the bouncy belt battalion, I wont comment if the rain caused any ill effects) .

So about mile 10, it was my turn. My feet just started throbbing, and throbbing, and throbbing(Problem #6). I considered stopping but that meant walking 3 miles in the rain which didn't sound so fun in 59 degrees. I decided to fight. Karri had also been fighting for the whole race but despite my repeated offers to walk some, she stubbornly pushed through. She's tougher than I am!

In the end, we crossed the finish line having never stopped to walk or rest and beat our 2:10 goal with a 2:08:03 and a 2:08:04. I'm not sure how she beat me but clearly she employed her feminine wiles to trick me into tanking at the finish line! <cackle>

I must say I was impressed that she ran the whole distance in discomfort without even once getting grumpy or grouchy with me,...... and I shall stick to that story for the duration of time in which I wish to remain in this relationship(Truth be told "Bitchiness factor" was a phrase of her own speaking so I'm probably not really in the doghouse).

And finally, for your entertainment, I perch upon my throne, overlooking my kingdom as I don my crown and scepter

That time I was abducted  (Race Report)

It always starts the same way. A ridiculously bright light shining in around the window shades causing thick beams of light to project in every direction into your bedroom (fortunately your smoke machine is always there and running). A loud noise. The trailer shakes(I think the aliens find trailers by homing in on tornadoes). Of course this is always followed by an abduction and a rather unpleasant probing but it didn't happen that way for me....

I don't actually live in a trailer nor do I remember the abduction. I had to scientifically deduce that I was abducted. It's simply the only answer to my predicament and I can't even be sure it was aliens. All I know is someone or something has done surgery on me without my prior approval.

It all started last Saturday during the Anthem 5K race. I was running but it wasn't me. They were not my legs! My legs don't move the way they did. Mine move slower and more dorkily (Is that a word? It is now). These legs were turning over efficiently and smoothly. It was obvious mine had been stolen and replaced with a more efficient set(which kind of begs the question "why would someone want to get hold of slower legs?"). This was most likely the work of aliens because their are no scars and unless I was operated on in some new secret CIA surgical base, I can only assume this to be off-world technology.

So I've now been racing for exactly a year. The Anthem 5K 2015 was my first race ever. How far have we come in a year? Lets compare

Year     Finish Time     Pace

2015     31:28               10:06

2016     25:05               08:05

My goal for this race was actually a 26:25 finish with an 8:30 pace. I don't know where the extra energy came from. I had no idea I had the ability to run that fast (or that not slow because it really isn't fast. Just is for me). I was almost having difficulty breathing. This was most definitely a 100% effort. I just didn't know my max effort could yield those results. Dig it!!

Now I wouldn't count on me running a 6:04 pace next year but I suspect we will be quicker and I suppose I have the aliens to thank. Sure hope they didn't leave anything behind.

Yes, YES, Y E S ! ! ! Muhahahahahahahaha

It's a rare occasion when a mild mannered runner realizes the full potential of his super power and his journey culminates in the birth of a mad scientist. 

Flasks full of smoking green shit. Jacob's Ladders. Lots of fire. All the things a guy(who isn't operating on an entirely charged set of batteries) needs to have fun. Of course it didn't start out this way....

Early in my running career, I discovered that I do have some natural talent. I was instantly adept at getting injured. My knees are considerably less committed to running than I am and loved to show their control over my hobby(err Obsession? Addiction?). This meant a lot of time sitting at home staring out of the window as everyone else ran in the beautiful weather.

Did you pick up on that little part? "The beautiful weather"? It didn't take long to find this pattern. EVERY SINGLE TIME I get injured, the weather gets beautiful. Naturally Newtons Third of Law Motion takes over and my return to running means a meteorological event on a sucktastic scale. Not a very useful superpower for evil. Not bad if I were the good guy kind of superhero. Everyone would love me for the kick ass weather but running has made me dark and greedy. You aren't going to be so lucky, for this has all changed!

This week I broke the code! I've mastered my manipulation of the weather. I am suffering! I'm suffering from an unhealed IT Band injury. It has torn the marathon attempt from my grasp and filled me with rage. A rage so powerful I have found the clarity to control my influence over the weather. With this new influence I've taken my vengeance upon my fellow runners. I have forced snow and cold from my frost filled heart to plunge your city into the ice ages and shall hold the warmth of your pathetic little sun hostage until I have been freed by the grips that have taken hold on my IT Band 

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

TL;DR?

Monday's do or die run sucked. IT Band went out at the 3 mile mark. That was the point of no return. Not enough time left to train for the marathon so I'm tapping out. Working on getting healed up and will run the triple crown and the half marathon. I'll give it another shot in '17!

Besides....Without risks, what joy would you find in reaching for the stretch goals anyway?

My future hangs in the balance!

Hangs in the balance. That's probably just a tad to the dramatic side of reality but the title has a very important history to it(Where important = ridiculous and irrelevant). I first heard it when I was a kid watching Star Trek and thought it sounded cool. I've waited some 30 years for an opportunity to use it, so get over it! <grin>

The truth is, I am in a bit of a situation. I may be forced into a decision about my training.

As always, I have to have a goal to keep pushing forward. After thinking things over(and possibly some gentle nudging by a couple of folks), I had decided to train for, and run(or slowly waddle compared to some of the folks I "run" with) the Kentucky Derby Festival Marathon. Sounded like a great idea so why not?

The first 3 weeks of training were amazing. Training with like minded runners with a common goal. Meeting new people. Forging friendships. We also got to run while doing this all. WIN! 

Unfortunately (Or fortunately from the, self proclaimed interesting, blogging angle), things never continue to go my way.....

WTF is an IT Band?

I would have figured it's a bunch of nerds jamming out the Super Mario Brothers theme, on cheap, poorly tuned electric guitars. This, of course, is why it's unhealthy for me to try and figure out stuff on my own(Google FTW).

The IT band, is short for the Iliotibial* band. It's a piece of connective tissue that runs from the hip to the knee on the outside of the leg(more like near the outside. Most of us keep skin over them). It's purpose is to improve stability during dynamic movement.  Basically a big ass bungee cord that provides tension.

Then there's the other role it plays. Causing pain! It gets inflamed and causes crazy pain on the outside of the knee. Naturally I know this first hand because that's what happened the night after our long run at the end of week 4 (12 miles). That was last Saturday

It was actually bugging me a bit on the run but was tolerable. As the day progressed however, it got increasingly worse. I woke up Sunday in a ton of pain. I could hardly walk and had a wicked limp. This lasted right through Monday before it began to lighten up. By Wednesday I was walking again and as of tonight(Friday) I'm pain free. I can still feel things aren't right yet though.

I know how to rehab this and I'm doing everything possible to heal but time is the one aspect I can't control(I can barely afford a Kia. How the hell could I get a DeLorean?).

So where does this leave me? I need to run on Monday. I don't know if my leg will be ready to handle it. If it is, we are back in business. If it's not, I fear I will have to give up the dream of running the marathon this year. Another week off will set me too far behind in training to catch up safely. I'll need to switch to the half marathon. The performance of my leg on Monday solely holds the secret of what the near future will bring(Damn that's irritating).

In the meantime, I'm scratching my forearms having running withdrawals

...until Monday

*Iliotibial is an ancient Aztec word meaning "No f***ing way they'll be able to pronounce this one"

It's not Break Dancing!

You ever see one of those movies where the super hero runs into a car, or more often, the always present tractor trailer hauling a tanker full of NoWayThisWillEndWellAzine? The super hero lands in the road and the truck hits them head on. The front end bows around their body as the rest of the truck compacts in on itself with a beautiful explosion to follow. Oh yeah, and the back end always pops way up in the air as this all happens. Nice CG!

This would have made for a fun time had I been a typical super hero. Unfortunately, my super powers fall more into the super hero class of say, Mystery men. So how exactly did this week descend into sucktastickness for Captain AlwaysInjured? Let's find out...

Wednesday: It all started Wednesday. We got a couple of inches of snow plus some beloved ice. Enough to cancel training that night and force me into a horrifying experience. You guessed it, The TREADMILL!! A device designed by people who enjoy painful, mind numbing things such as anesthesia-free elective surgery, drowning, and opera music. I finished my 4 miler but certainly not without practicing my skills at reciting a plethora of vulgarities under my breath,

Thursday: Run on your own day. 4 miles. This had to happen after work in the dark. Just one of those things that happens in the absence of sunlight. I decide to run from Fleet Feet. My plan was to complete the run we didn't do on Wednesday. The roads were essentially clear but black ice worried me. Very hard stuff to spot at night. I decided the safer choice would be to find some clear sidewalks to run on (yeah, right) so I headed for Bardstown road. Yeah, um, no. The sidewalks were covered with hard chunky packed snow, ice and salt residue. Great for an ice cream maker. Not so great for running. I survived and the run was going pretty well (At this point you're expecting me to say (Because I always seem to) "and then it happened". Unfortunately, I shall not not disappoint.) and then it happened...

The car was making a right onto Bardstown road and was stopped at the stop sign. He had been paused there for a bit and I was confident he had seen my eleventeen billion lumen headlamp beaming right into his windshield but as they say "When you assume, you get planted on the ice by 3000 pounds of steel" or something like that. I began to cross the side street, in the crosswalk, and he decided to jam on the gas and turn right. I had a slightly different experience than the previous super hero. He ran over my foot as I bounced off the right front fender.

I was pretty sure I didn't die and go to heaven because there was no quality bourbon and naked women. I was also fairly confident I didn't go the other direction because there was no cheap bourbon either. So I hopped to me feet to discover, amazingly, I'm essentially still in one piece, with everything important still connected and functioning(of the parts conveniently tested while standing in the middle of the road on a busy street, freezing several of those parts off). With that, I spoke to the driver for several minutes. He was very concerned and remorseful. Admitted he never looked right and he clearly felt miserable over this. I told him I was alright and was going to get back to running (My temp was dropping fast!). So back to running I went. Actually nailed my best split for the last mile. Got indoors, checked myself out and all looks fine, although now my hand is hurting.

Can you guess which foot he got?

Friday: Hooray for no sleep!!! My right hand/wrist is throbbing!!. Short work day and REST, REST, Watch The Martian(good movie), REST.

Saturday: Long run day, YES! Ok, well, um, it didn't end up a long run. As usual, something went wrong. At about mile 6 my IT band on the right leg gave up. Insane pain on the outside of the right knee and game over. Had to duck into a pet shop and do the shiver of shame (quite cold yesterday)while waiting for a ride to come get me. The running theory(pun intended)  is that the uneven surfaces I've run on this week have exacerbated my mild IT Band Syndrome that's only thus far, bugged me after my long runs.

Sunday: Um, no running today. The knee hath spoken. Just ITB Rehab exercises. At least the hand is much improved.

The bar for next week has been set pretty low. Not so great if you're a Limbo competitor, but not so bad for a runner. Good things maybe? <shrug>....

Naked New Year and Global Warming

What better way to start the new year than with a naked run? I'm sorry if you're sad that I didn't announce it beforehand so you could watch. Private second showings are available to beautiful women with Ferraris. Just respond to me with your contact info and a picture of the Ferrari.

You may recall from reading a previous blog (why you would read one and keep reading, I've no clue) that running naked actually refers to running without the aid of modern electronics to feed you on the fly data. Truth be told, I didn't run entirely naked. I actually had my GPS watch on me, but simply refused to glance at it for the entire run(Still wanted the "After the fact" telemetry from my run). It was sort of like streaking but wearing plastic wrap over your junk. For all intents and purposes, you're still letting the boys fly

When the run was over, I looked at my watch and to my surprise, my pace was 9:30. I wanted to find out what my natural comfortable pace was and expected it to be a good bit slower than that. It is by no means fast but for a runner of just over a year who had a comfortable pace of 11:30 last January, I'll take it with a smile.

And with that, I'll leave you with my only New Years Resolution....... I resolve to always wear pants when I run from here on in (wait, what?).

Global Warming:

You hear about it all the time. It's destroying the planet and I can't help but wonder, is it us? 

We all know(those of us who run at least) that running causes certain internal functions to um, deviate from normal operation. Essentially the body goes into overdrive, with the engine running at peak performance which causes an increase in um, exhaust production. Sometimes this is a fairly steady exhaust pressure increase, while other times it's more of a backfire. It's something we all do, well, the guys at least. The women claim no knowledge of this situation(but science has proven that if they keep holding it in they will explode one day, probably). Are we the ones expelling the greenhouse gasses? Should we ban running? Hmmmmmm

*Dammit Leslie, I warned you!!

On a personal note, I've reached a point of indecision. Next Saturday I begin the Louisville Distance Project training with my local Fleet Feet.  I mostly chose to join this for social running, not so much the training. I had planned to run with the Half Marathoners with hopes of gaining benefit from the speed workouts for a nice PR at the KDF Half Marathon at the end of April. The problem is that group starts out at a very low mileage with a long run building on 4 miles. My weekly long run is up to 12. My thought process was to run with the Marathoners for the first few weeks until the Half group gets some distance on the Saturday run. I'm now torn as to what to do.....

• Should I keep running with the marathoners and just change my registration from the half to the full? 
• Is marathon training too intense of a program for me at this point?
• Am I risking injury?
• Should I stay with the original plan and be patient?
• Should I just give up running and go back to trying to become a poker player? (Yeah, f**k that. Poker is way cool though)

Decisions, decisions.....

* Leslie is fictitious. No women runners exploded during the making of this blog.

Swami I am (Race report)

Who knew I could be so accurate at prediction(I suppose I should have if I'm throwing the swami flag)?

A prediction run:
What a wonderful type of race. It doesn't matter if you run fast like a Cheetah or slow like a Gila Monster, you have an equal chance of winning. It isn't about speed but about consistency in your running.

Before the race begins you go to the signup sheet, grab your race bib, hold it to your forehead, predict your 5K finish time, and write your name and the predicted time on the sheet. Winners being those finishing closest to their actual prediction time. Wait around a little bit (like any race) and then line up at the starting line. Before you start you are told to remove ALL electronics. Naturally I asked about pace makers, headlamps and flashing LEDs to be told they were exceptions(never miss an opportunity to be a wise ass).

This was a fun one because I was not pressured to run hard, else I would have needed to skip it as the knee is still healing(and nicely at that).  I'm a rather consistent runner. most of my runs are within 15 seconds on pace so I figured I had a good shot at placing.  Of course I didn't know the course, how many hills there would be or how steep(it was very few and rather shallow) they were so it was a bit of a guessing game. I also had no idea how much electronics impact my running.

Huff, puff, wheeze, choke, gurgle. These were the wonderful sounds gracing my ears as a ran. I'm accustomed to stuff more like Soul Coughing than actual coughing. but I suppose it's nice to know what a sexy sounding man I am not when I run<cackle>. It's a totally different experience without my music player.

How did it end? I didn't win. I didn't even finish in the top twelve(Places announced for honorable mention). 12th place was 48 seconds off prediction and I was 1:07. Oh well. Good times and two important lessons taken away...

I am amazing at making predictions!(just give it to me and roll with it)
I suck at running to those predictions <G>

Prizes:
3rd: A bag of Skratch sports drink powder
2nd: Superfeet inserts
1st: A cool pair of retro Saucony street shoes

Big thanks to Fleet Feet Louisville who once again knocked it out of the park with a free race, interesting concept and free goodies. They are huge supporters of running in Louisville. much love!!

Surfin’ The Highlands

81 degrees. A cool breeze rolling off the ocean. White caps. Breakers crashing over the pier leaving a sweet salty mist in the air. Beach bunnies playing volleyball. White nosed lifeguards with their orange floaties. None of these things were present as I hit the waves today.

A mystery(to me) of running is why we will run in conditions that score highly on the “F that” scale. 48 degrees, drizzly, glum, sure, let’s run…..

I was a bit chilly as the drizzle kept me just damp enough for the cool breeze to drop my body temp to just below comfortable. In the end, it was a pretty uneventful run as far as the running goes. In fact, I only almost got hit by an inattentive driver once during the entire run(sadly, this is not an attempt at humor but a harsh reality).

Rain is smart. It loves to wait until you’re several miles in before it graces you with it’s presence so it can laugh at your inability to do anything about the situation. It did not disappoint this morning, It hit right at the halfway point of my 6 miler. It kind of came on like a creeper. Not super hard, just super steady. Before I knew it I was knee deep(fortunately not literally) in the joys of chilly rain running and experiencing all the magic it brings with it.

Water has absolutely no adhesive properties whatsoever when in an isolated state. Add a catalyst however like, say, a polyester shirt, and suddenly it’s as sticky as a chocolate milk stain on linoleum. This adhesive reaction causes your shirt to stick to and adhere to every um, curve of your upper body. If I were chiseled like a Malibu lifeguard, that might not be such a bad thing. Unfortunately I don’t rock a Speedo for a reason!

Another fun part about the rain is technology. Tire technology to be specific(No, I don’t run with tires. Hang with me here. It’s going somewhere <eek, tire joke?>). The modern automobile tire has evolved very considerably over the years. The manufacturers have become quite adept at channeling water away from the vehicle. They achieve this by channeling it on to the sidewalk in a spraying fashion(Ahh, there’s that salty sweet ocean mist) The problem here being that I run on the sidewalk

The pinnacle of the sidewalk surfing experience being when you get to hang, errr, slosh ten! The puddle never actually looks that deep but in you go and all 10 piggies get a nice chilly bath. Slosh, slosh, slosh, slosh, slosh, slosh, slosh. You make that spongy sounding noise for a mile or so, until you’ve stomped the excess water off, or hit another puddle and reset the counter.

Essentially running in the rain sucks, or it should suck. I’m not sure why, but I’d gladly do it again and thoroughly enjoy it again as I did this morning. I’m like the mouse that doesn’t learn from the electrical shocks and just keeps trying to get the cheese over and over.

Surf’s up? Lets run…..

My Full House got cracked(Race Report)

In the absence of an overpair on the board, I would normally have no problems pushing all-in on a 10s full boat. Of course this was not a typical poker game, nor was it a typical race(because I actually won a prize). This was the New Balance Poker Run @Fleet Feet.

A rather interesting concept. Before the start you receive 2 playing cards, plus a third if you try on a pair of New Balance running shoes which you were allowed to run in for the evening. I was given an extra card anyway because they were unable to fit someone with a size 13 + Sasquatch width foot(they can only bring so many shoes with them and mine alone fill a small truck). Then out you go to the track(where track = a lap around a 1/2 mile city block). The race then begins(can you call this a race? Sorta? Kinda?) and around you go. Each time you pass go, you collect a new playing card(unfortunately, no 200 dollars). Once you hit 5 total, you must turn in a card before you draw a card. Your goal being to make the best possible 5 card poker hand. You may stop at any time you feel you want to play the hand you've got. Else, you're forced to stop(You probably could keep running but they stop giving you cards) at the 1 hour mark(which was actually like 50 minutes as we started with a safety chat and instructions which is a pretty good idea with 50 people running in the road at night with cars) and play whatever you have. The speed advantage here being the fast folks get to draw more cards than the rest of us(They say you shouldn't call yourself slow so I declare I'm simply not fast). After the end, everyone turns in their cards and prizes are handed out to the top 10 hands (table full of prizes and first place chooses first, etc)

Once I got 10s full of Jacks, I decided to stick with what I had. With less than half an hour left I didn't see my odds good of improving my hand and knowing my luck, the opposite was more likely. I did continue to run laps until I got my planned 4 miles in for my Wednesday run, but I sat on the cards I had(which is rather difficult to do while running). I stopped about 15 minutes before the end and turned in my cards where I was placed on the leader-board and was looking in first place(Me? first place? Another reason this couldn't possibly be a race).

So I hung out for a bit looking at all the gear that I wanted and can't afford(For some reason, no matter where you shop,  running gear is more expensive than black market, diamond encrusted, baby seal skin leather boots)while waiting for the others to finish. As they came in, I started to see some um. less than ideal poker hands(for me) coming in. 5 of a kind deuces, quad somethings, bigger boats than mine. By the time it was done I was in 6th place. 

So what did I learn? Poker skills do not translate to poker runs. Poker hand values are greatly deflated. Running in circles is not as fun as it would sound(Not sure why it sounds fun. You're weird). This was a really fun experience!!

In the end I won this nice running visor and a cool beer koozie(gave it away to someone who drinks beer so no photo. They don't make canned bourbon and I'm ok with that fact).  Some other folks also won some awesome wool running shirts, a foot massager, some socks. Lots of cool prizes!

I had a fantastic time. Thanks to Fleet Feet Louisville(much love!!), New Balance, Trigger Point, and the employees who worked hard to make this great and completely free event happen and for hooking us up with some pretty cool prizes!! You all rule!!

More Fleet Feet fun type runs coming this holiday season. I'm sure your eyes are riveted to the screen awaiting my blog update of them! (Wow your life must be boring)

I've got nothing!

I haven't had a blog update in a bit. Why? Because I've got nothing. I usually write(or do something resembling writing. I mean, bad writing is still writing, isn't it?) about actual occurrences in my life that are comical(based on my own unqualified assessment), with some of my own personal fitness(where 'fitness' = running) accomplishments, with the goal of getting cheesy "go get em champ" recognition from those who outclass me in my own sport(you know, pretty much everyone). Fortunately my goals are based on beating my own previous achievements and I don't outclass myself(so my ego is safe). None of that stuff has happened in the last couple of weeks so not much to write about. Racing season is done. Nothing on the schedule until the Louisville Triple Crown series in February. Just an easy relaxing couple of months until I start training in January. That means life is boring and again, I got nothing.

With all that being said(Where 'that' = pretty much nothing), I guess I should waste a few keystrokes on my most recent WTF experience(there's always stuff I can be pissed about)

So back in the day I had a 3-speed bicycle. It had a lever you'd flip with your thumb. Gear goes up, bike goes faster, peddling gets harder. A pretty simple technology. Then the 10-speed bike came on the scene. A bit more tricky. You had 2 levers, not to difficult. You knew how to shift gears and you had 10 usable gears that increased sequentially. Surely the future will hold new technologies that will provide us with more gears and be easier to use. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Enter the mountain bike. We now have 21 speeds for you to use......well, not exactly. You do indeed have 21 speeds(term used extremely loosely) but you can't actually use 21 speeds and we no longer refer to them as 13th gear or 10th, because well, I don't really get it myself.  There are 3 positions on the left shifter that shift to the 3 chain rings(big gears in front). 7 positions on the right. You refer to them as 4th on the small chain ring, 3rd on the middle, etc. Now get this. You can't really use the first or 7th position on the right shifter because the chain rubs and makes noise. Those are not entirely good things. Now with 3 chain rings and 2 unusable gears, that brings us to 6 thus lowering our usable gears to 15(Holy crap! He can do math?) but wait, there's more(Here comes the cheesy free steak knife offer). Some of the gears on certain chain rings are actually the same gear ratio as others thus losing more gears but how many? <shrug> All I can tell you is I have somewhere between six and eleventeen gears on my 21 speed bike.

Advances in technology. Good stuff!!

I've fallen and I CAN get up

That’s right, you heard me. I blew it, fell off the wagon, screwed the pooch, had sex on my back(you know. F***ed up?).

I know what you’re thinking.  This can’t be possible! Dilnad is a demigod. He’s infallible. If he had hair it would never stop blowing in the sphere of hero wind that constantly surrounds him. He has to wear sunglasses indoors because the sun still shines on him. Assuming this is true, I must come to one of the following conclusions….

• You don’t know me at all!
• You huff paint
• You’re blind (still working on this one)
• You’re a pretty, single woman who has free climbed Mt Gullibility in which case I’d love to take to dinner in Monaco on my private jet. FYI - wearing panties can cause air sickness. Just sayin’. (Please let this be the answer, and someone loan me a jet)

The truth is I did screw up, And I have screwed up in the past. Getting healthy isn’t easy!

So the half marathon totally fried my legs. Running 40% further than you ever have can have that effect. I pretty much had to take the whole week off from running. Add to that my need to take things light on lifting due to a minor rotator cuff injury and diet was critically important. Naturally my brain interpreted this to mean, “eat like shit” and who am I to turn down a challenge? It started with all the free pre-Halloween goodies at the office.  Bad decisions ensued. Beefy Logs, Cheesy Poofs, Gahagafaga, crappy restaurant decisions. It went on for nearly the whole week. Naturally I’m back, running, strength training and eating healthy. This isn’t the first time I went on a bender. Probably won’t be the last. No harm done. Well, maybe a tiny pride hit.

You know what? It’s OK to screw up. Really! There’s no reset counter in health and fitness. You can start again as many times as you like. We all do. The important part is you must see when you've gone astray and you need to stop it, and stop it immediately. You have to gather the courage and declare “HEY! THESE FLOORS ARE DIRTY AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!” (Holy shit! A Stanley Spadowski reference! That should be a triple word score in the blogosphere!)and then act on it! Clean things up, and do it now!

No matter how bad your screw up was, it just doesn’t matter. What you did yesterday is done, over, fin. or in the almighty words of Mr Spock “The matter has been rendered academic”. What we must do is shake it off, just like an Etch A Sketch, and start over. WIN!

Race Report: Did that just happen?

13.1. You’ve seen the sticker (maybe) but what does it mean?

The Layman:

WTF is that? A radio station???

Bible Verse?

Genital measurement(probably metric)?

The Runner:

Do you have beer and wings?

Follow me to the nearest physical therapist

Chocolate milk kicks ass

DUDE! I completed a half marathon!! (13.1 miles)

Why put it on your car?

I didn’t understand myself before yesterday(But I knew I had to have one)....

I had the rare opportunity to run the Urban Bourbon Half Marathon yesterday. I was not prepared for this whatsoever. My long run was a smidgen north of 8 miles. The plan was to run my first half in April (the next one we have here) but due to the generosity of my employer, I had the opportunity to participate for free (Free? Big fan!!). It was obvious I’d need to walk or even take a short rest stop to do this but I was determined.

It started out like a typical race. Running on cold legs that bitched every inch of the first mile or two and then finally hit a relaxed run. I was running with the Fleet Feet 2:20 pacers(They will adjust their run to cross the finish line at the 2:20 mark. if you run with them, so will you) and everything was going smoothly. At mile 4 we entered Cherokee Park. I’m used to, and actually(or masochistically) enjoy, the hills there so I’d just relax and cruise through them. I was not however,  familiar with Barrett Hill. That sucker was brutal. There was actually fire shooting out of my calves(true story, probably) but I muscled up it(pseudopun not intended Crossfitters). After that, the rest of the park wasn’t so bad.

Next thing you know, we are passing 8 miles and I’m in new territory. All the way along the pacers were cheering me on(we ended up a very small group). Telling me they aren’t letting me drop behind (not that I actually was). Just generally non stop motivating. They even kept me chatting some about running to take my mind off the distance(which I was declaring as a countdown on the miles to free bourbon scale). When we hit 10 miles I began telling myself that all I gotta do is run a 5K. I do that for a quick recovery run now. No problem….. Yes problem. My calves were cramping and crying and my feet were throbbing ridiculously but I was so damn close. I had to fight my way across the finish line but I crossed it with my pacers in 2:19:43 with a 10:39 avg pace. Certainly not fast but I RAN A HALF MARATHON!!! Not bad for an 8 mile runner.

Crossing the finish line is an unbelievable feeling. A wave of emotion I simply cannot explain. I can only imagine what it feels like after 26.2(but faint at the concept of getting there). Next time I see either one of those stickers, I’ll understand the joy the driver felt and will hopefully get a warm fuzzy.

The finish line goodies were the icing on the cake (there was no cake but they did have a truck selling bacon covered frosted donuts). Water, Powerade, chocolate milk(The beloved moo juice!), bagels, four free bourbon tastings, a beer(The line was almost as long as the bathroom line before the race), slice of pizza, and a cup of Burgoo.

PS: I can't say enough good about the Fleet Feet pace team. There is just no way I'd have been able to fight my way through had it not been for those ladies. Hats off to team 2:20!

PICS!!!

Showing off my hand dipped in wax, Evan Williams Bourbon Bottle finisher's medal.

Because why not?

Robbie and I, another one down. Was with him for his first 5K, both of our first 10K and now our first half. What's next? His wife Laura also did a virtual 5k for charity along with us. No pic of her because she's our official photographer and on the other side of the camera but trust me, she rules!!

Look who I ran in to? Theresa was there to support our friend Marci(Or so I thought). Marci also completed her first half today. Couldn't find her after the race but did run in to her back at the parking ramp. I suspect she's feeling as achy as I am today(She's getting her own 13.1 sticker at work tomorrow. Hope she doesn't read this today). Well surprise, not only was Theresa prepared to cheer for Marci but she had myself and our corporate team in mind as well (she made 3 signs). She kicks ass! Thanks Theresa!!!

.....and the word of the day is: