The things I've learned about yoga

I've been actively following online yoga classes for several days. I can clearly see the benefit this will have to my running and overall flexibility. It is, however, challenging in many ways.

1: You cannot possibly look manly while doing yoga
2: Yoga instructors explanations seem to stop time while you're performing contortionist imitations
3: Testicles are not a boon for performing this activity
4: It's hard to watch the person giving instructions while you're staring back between your own legs
5: Sweat Happens(promise)
6: Falling is not a pose
7: Tomorrow's gonna suck in the soreness department
8: Ladies dig guys who do online yoga (this is more of a hope than an observation)
9: Clip art of men doing yoga doesn't seem to exist
10: I can't come up with a 10th thing to fill this list

The Basic Yoga poses:

Break Dancer

Stoned Horse

Tyrannosaur Penis

I must admit I'm enjoying it and physically feel the benefits. I'm also not waking up with muscles as tight as previously. Good stuff!

Photo Shoot:  Dilnad Studios,  2015

All models were at least 18 years of age at the time of photo shoot. Model releases available upon request

******

Run Club - Sat: 3.65 miles, 9:46 pace,  177 spm. The legs felt really good. No knee pain. I'm ready to dial it up. Will still spend another week off hills per Ryan's recommendation. Speed work to begin this coming Saturday.

5K relay coming this Friday

Dumbbell Y Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbbell T Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbbell W Raises: 1x10 @15lb

Dumbell Bench Press: 1x8 @110lb (55lb dumbbells), 2x8@120 (60lb dumbbells) PR!
Barbell Back Squats: 5x5 @95lb. First loaded squats since May. Starting easy

Pull Ups: 1x1, 2x lower and hang

Push-ups: 3x10
Planks: 3x:30

Weekly Mileage: 9.94 mi

Miles to Mordor: 1472.96

No changes. Actually up 0.3 pounds from last week but MEH.  Running and fitness is back in the picture so I suspect I'll start shedding again. This will mark my 1 year in the academy weigh-in making my total loss since joining at 64 pounds. (total all time loss of 122)

8/15

Weight - 204.5

Body Fat - 19.3

BMI - 28.3

Shoulders - 46

Neck - 16

Chest - 43

Bicep right - 12.5

Bicep - left - 12.5

Waist - 39

Hips - 38

Thigh - right - 21.5

Thigh - left - 21.5

Today's blog will not be particularly fun(for you. I enjoyed the hell out of the run). Sometimes I just need to log some data. And then other times I write something up and then decide it sucks(but still need to post data). This has been one of those times.

...And once again, I make my return to running (anyone taking bets on how long it will be this time?)

My first trail run. A mostly gravel trail with some steep sides, flat stone lined, dried up creeks and some areas of running on 1" rocks. Takes some extra balance and feels like a bit of an ankle workout. The wooded areas were quite peaceful. I rather enjoyed it. Trails are now on my list. 

Today was also my first run without the music crutch. I decided someday my headset or musical device will fail right before a race. I wanted to know what it's like to run without jacking in for once. I didn't mind it at all. Kind of peaceful and a great time to think about stuff, like writing a shitty blog post that you later toss out.

I ran very easy today as I tested out the knee. The steri strips are still in place and didn't bug me at all. The knee felt quite solid. It is a little sore still when I lunge. I think I bruised it when I whacked it. The other knee was also solid today. I've been massaging the patellar tendon and stretching the quads per my physical therapists advice. Ryan is the man!

Trail Run: 3 miles, 10:43 pace, 175 spm. I think the deep gravel slows me down a bit. Another assumption of the fledgling runner when the reality of it is I'm probably just slow. The cheap New Balance trail shoes from Dicks worked just fine. Very comfortable.

Basic Leg Routine

One legged balance: :30 each leg

Twisting Lunge: 6x each leg

Single-leg Deadlift: 5x each leg

One legged Alphabet spell: A-M each leg

NerdFitness Yoga Water Series A: That shit puts a hurtin' on ya

Weekly Mileage: 6.29 mi

Miles to Mordor: 1476.61

Episode 42: not all super heroes are created equal

I'm a posterior savant! I have the gift..

I suspect you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, or perhaps have already clicked back to Facebook to watch cat videos instead(not the worst of ideas). What I mean is I can identify most runners I regularly run with from behind. This is not a skill one learns without a great deal of practice. I just happen to be one of those rare people with the opportunity to practice often, because I'm slow. Everybody is constantly running in front of me(and are usually 10 years younger than I. Coincidence?).

Now you might wonder if I'm about to go South with this one and in my usual level of rawness discuss the upsides of certain backsides. In this VERY RARE case, that will not be part of the equation. I barely have enough oxygen to operate the cardiovascular system when running. This isn't the time to reallocate resources for other brain functions.

There is of course an upside to my slowness. I'm consistent. I maintain my pace and I don't walk, EVER! On occasion I pass one of those people back while going up a hill or near the end of the run because they steamed out. When that happens, I know who I'm about to pass as I approach them because? Well, you know.....

Perhaps I'm the proverbial tortoise(With caboose identification super powers. BTW Flight was acutally my first choice)?

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Some great news today on the fitness front!. I hit my first unassisted pull up from a full straight armed hang. I've been working on this for a week short of a year. Big level up!!


Dumbbell Y Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbbell T Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbbell W Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbell Bench Press: 3x8 @110lb (55lb dumbbell)

Pull Ups: 1x1 (Unassisted). Bigtime PR!! , 1x5 (40lb assist)

Push-ups: 3x10
Planks: 3x:30

Episode 42: The windshield/bug conundrum.

 Care to venture a guess at which role I played tonight?

So I'm at Planet Fitness doing pull ups and I was feeling lonely. I thought to myself, "HEY, I could get a crapload of attention if I were to bash my knee on this here handle and bust my incision back open". Naturally I decided to give it a try.  It's amazing how popular you suddenly get as people line up to see blood running(/cry. Poor choice of words) down your leg.

Naturally, planet fitness was well equipped to handle a situation just such as this. The employees broke out their emergency trauma kit and immediately handed me a no name brand bandaid knockoff. I resealed the incision with their high tech surgical gear and limped to my car. I grabbed my tiny little back pocket first aid kit and sat down to try and fix the problem. I replaced their extremely helpful "battle dressing" with a butterfly bandage. The bleeding seems under control.

Called the answering service and the on call surgeon called me back. He said if the bleeding is under control he would just leave the butterfly on for several days and not worry about it. They made the incision vertically so the bending of the knee doesn't try and separate it. As long as it doesn't bleed I'm good to go.

....And now for the punchline......<Drum Roll>

....At least until the weekend. That's OK. The knee hurts worse tonight then after the surgery. Heh.

Less than stellar gym day( can't seem to figure out why <chuckle>)...

Dumbbell Y Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbbell T Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbbell W Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbell Bench Press: 3x8 @110lb (55lb dumbbell)
Pull Ups: 1x10, 1x8 (70lb assist)
Bleed........


No worries. The Dilnad will return and FIGHT!

Dilnad: Dilnad to base camp. Dilnad to base camp!
BC: Base camp here, Over
Dilnad: I've reached the summit and planted our flag at Hogan's Fountain. Please advise.
BC: Roger roger Dilnad and congratulations.  Now please descend and climb the other peak. Over
A deflated Dilnad: Wait, what?......


Well, they aren't exactly Himalayans but as a fledgling runner, my arch nemesis Cherokee Park knows how to hurt me plenty. There are 3 significant(in my book) hills. Each in the area of 1/2 mile long.

Monday run club is hills night. It's the most difficult run for me by a long shot. I'm not sure why it is but this is my favorite one of the week. I believe it's because it's a different running style. Where as my easy and long runs are a stroll through the park (sure, you're working hard but not on overdrive), Cherokee is a battle of attrition.

So why exactly do you prefer that, you moron? *
I haven't the foggiest of clues (I'm usually pretty foggy post run). My best guess is it's some sort of fuxxored up masochistic runner thing I don't yet understand. <shrug> I dig it(I'm bringing it back)!

* Intersting(to me) factoid: dilnad and moron are synonyms


Ok, now onto the accountability crap:

Run Club - Monday:  3.29 miles, 10:02 pace, 174 spm. Heat index North of 90 degrees. FUN SHIT!

I did get some right knee(the one that wasn't operated on) discomfort tonight that's happened from before the surgery. It doesn't like going down hill. It's a mild pain. Someone suggested one of those patellar straps but I think I'll talk to my physical therapist about it first. I need another couple of visits to finish fixing my shoulder (Damn this guy's a mess). Haven't done an overhead push press in almost a year.

Basic Leg Routine
One legged balance: :30 each leg
Twisting Lunge: 6x each leg
Single-leg Deadlift: 5x each leg
One legged Alphabet spell: A-M each leg

Bodyweight Squats: 1x30

Weekly Mileage: 3.29 mi
Miles to Mordor: 1476.61

Episode 42: Blog'n for a livin'

So tomorrow morning is my return to the working world. I've almost enjoyed my hiatus but the return to, and continuation of receiving a paycheck from, work seems to be a necessity. I considered calling my boss and just quitting to become a blogger full time but then I did the math....

An ad banner at $0.001 per view * the approximately 4 people who visit my blog * twice per week(one can hope) *52 weeks /12 = $0.0346 monthly salary. That leaves me at a slight deficit to cover the mortgage. Now if I prostitute myself out for the max price I'm worth, I could probably double those figures(About 6.9 cents per month). This still leaves me a few bucks short of my goal.

Until I find a way to shore up the numbers a bit, I fear I must continue my fulfilling life of pressing buttons on a keyboard in a cube cage. it pays for running shoes <shrug>. At least I have a great boss that understands my dietary requirements(Paleo + Balsam of Peru dietary restrictions) and addiction to running and fitness crap.

So what does this all mean? 40 less hours per week available for blogging. You will see shorter and often less interesting posts here as I must still maintain my original goal to document my fitness regimen. I'll endeavor to furnish more interesting(at least to me) posts on the weekends.

Off -Day Workout:

Standard Core Routine: 2 sets
Bicycle: 10 x each leg
Plank: :30
Marching Bridge: :60
Side Plank: :30 each side.
Bird Dogs: 10

4 Yoga Poses I recently learned(more ccming next week). All done for 30 seconds
Chair Pose
Forward Fold
Lunge (both legs)
Downward Dog


Note: Next Saturday I will reintroduce strides into my routine. Speed work baby!