The Dilnad can!

That time I was abducted  (Race Report)

It always starts the same way. A ridiculously bright light shining in around the window shades causing thick beams of light to project in every direction into your bedroom (fortunately your smoke machine is always there and running). A loud noise. The trailer shakes(I think the aliens find trailers by homing in on tornadoes). Of course this is always followed by an abduction and a rather unpleasant probing but it didn't happen that way for me....

I don't actually live in a trailer nor do I remember the abduction. I had to scientifically deduce that I was abducted. It's simply the only answer to my predicament and I can't even be sure it was aliens. All I know is someone or something has done surgery on me without my prior approval.

It all started last Saturday during the Anthem 5K race. I was running but it wasn't me. They were not my legs! My legs don't move the way they did. Mine move slower and more dorkily (Is that a word? It is now). These legs were turning over efficiently and smoothly. It was obvious mine had been stolen and replaced with a more efficient set(which kind of begs the question "why would someone want to get hold of slower legs?"). This was most likely the work of aliens because their are no scars and unless I was operated on in some new secret CIA surgical base, I can only assume this to be off-world technology.

So I've now been racing for exactly a year. The Anthem 5K 2015 was my first race ever. How far have we come in a year? Lets compare

Year     Finish Time     Pace

2015     31:28               10:06

2016     25:05               08:05

My goal for this race was actually a 26:25 finish with an 8:30 pace. I don't know where the extra energy came from. I had no idea I had the ability to run that fast (or that not slow because it really isn't fast. Just is for me). I was almost having difficulty breathing. This was most definitely a 100% effort. I just didn't know my max effort could yield those results. Dig it!!

Now I wouldn't count on me running a 6:04 pace next year but I suspect we will be quicker and I suppose I have the aliens to thank. Sure hope they didn't leave anything behind.