The Dilnad can!

The great Kale fail

As part of my pay week routine, I stopped at my local supermarket after my Saturday run then workout. It was a typical trip. Take the long way around the store to gain extra steps. Carefully check ring fingers for the single female shoppers. Give the smile and nod to those who meet criteria while keeping the minimum distance required to diffuse my post gym sexy aroma of fermented running socks and dried sweat. Little did I know, this day was about to take a tragic turn.

I open the freezer door to grab my bi-weekly stock of Birdseye Steamfresh Chopped Kale. This stuff is amazing. I'd have to say it's even better than free porn(which is clearly a bold faced lie. Very little is better than free porn). The problem being that it wasn't there. Not an empty shelf but was replaced with some other frozen non Kaleish crap.

My breathing became labored as panic set in. I dropped to one knee, hands outstretched to the sky(Which in this particular case was an unfinished ceiling full of rafters, heat vents and bug encrusted skylights), as I cried WHY GOD WHY (because who doesn't appeal to a deity with their cruciferous vegetables woes?)!

As I lay there in the middle of the aisle bawling, a manager approached me to help resolve the situation. She showed me the store brand Kale but alas it wasn't microwave steamable. I did my best to explain to her that putting a bag in the magicwave and pushing 4-3-0 <Start> is pretty much the pinnacle of my cooking achievements. I am not yet sure if my appeal was sucessful.

Please, oh please, bring my Steamfresh Kale back for I am a lost soul without it!


NOTE: Portions of this story may employ a small amount of artistic license (where small = a ShitFuckTon<it's called CamelCase. Look it up>)

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The technical junk

8/31
Run: 4.01 Miles. 10:03 Pace. 177 SPM. Knee felt good but it was very flat surface. I feel it hurt whenever I use any sort of lateral stability. We aren't healed yet but making ground.

Basic Leg Routine
One legged balance: :30 each leg
Twisting Lunge: 6x each leg
Single-leg Deadlift: 5x each leg
One legged Alphabet spell: A-M each leg

Dumbbell Y Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbbell T Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbbell W Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbell Bench Press: 3x8@120lb (60lb dumbbells),
Pull Ups: 1x4, 1x4(40lb assist), 1x3(40lb assist)
Push-ups: 3x10
Planks: 3x:30

Weekly Mileage: 4.01 miles
Miles to Mordor: 1445.61


9/1
Standard Core Routine: 2 sets
Bicycle: 10 x each leg
Plank: :30
Marching Bridge: :60
Side Plank: :30 each side.
Bird Dogs: 10

Yoga: Water Series B


9/2
Posted 02 September 2015 - 10:25 PM
Run: 5.01 miles. 10:29 pace, 170 spm (I think this messed up by my times grabbing my water bottle and drinking pooched my cadence). It was hot. Hot as balls. 95 degree heat index (35C). Hottest I've run in but I got that 5 mile barrier rebeaten and the knees feel pretty good.

Basic Leg Routine
One legged balance: :30 each leg
Twisting Lunge: 6x each leg
Single-leg Deadlift: 5x each leg
One legged Alphabet spell: A-M each leg


Dumbell Bench Press: 3x8@120lb (60lb dumbbells),
Pull Ups: 1x2, 2xlower plus hang. Not much steam for pull ups after today's run LOL
Push-ups: 3x10
Planks: 3x:30

Weekly Mileage: 9.02 miles
Miles to Mordor: 1440.60


9/3
Recovery Run: 3.00 miles. 10:23 pace, 175 spm

Basic Leg Routine
One legged balance: :30 each leg
Twisting Lunge: 6x each leg
Single-leg Deadlift: 5x each leg
One legged Alphabet spell: A-M each leg

Weekly Mileage: 12.02 miles
Miles to Mordor: 1437.60


9/4
Standard Core Routine: 2 sets
Bicycle: 10 x each leg
Plank: :30
Marching Bridge: :60
Side Plank: :30 each side.
Bird Dogs: 10


9/5
Weight went up 2-3 pounds as I predicted. Turns out my Fitbit Aria is broken and isn't calibrating. I probably wasn't really 200 last week(Warranty replacement is on the way). Waist finally dropped half an inch. YES!

Weight - 202.9
Body Fat - 20.8
BMI - 28.1
Shoulders - 46
Neck - 16
Chest - 43
Bicep right - 12.5
Bicep - left - 12.5
Waist - 38.5
Hips - 38
Thigh - right - 21.5
Thigh - left - 21.5


Run: 4.01 miles. 9:35 pace, 179 SPM. Beautiful negative splits. 10:19, 9:55, 9:17. 8:47. Only one tiny spike of knee discomfort. The healing is going well. Nice cool (relative statement) 8:am run.

Basic Leg Routine
One legged balance: :30 each leg
Twisting Lunge: 6x each leg
Single-leg Deadlift: 5x each leg
One legged Alphabet spell: A-M each leg

Dumbbell Y Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbbell T Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbbell W Raises: 1x10 @15lb
Dumbell Bench Press: 3x8@120lb (60lb dumbbells),
Pull Ups: 1x4, 1x3, 1x1
Push-ups: 3x10
Planks: 3x:30
Hay Bales: 3x10 @8lb ball
Bodyweight Squats: 3x15


Weekly Mileage: 16.03 miles
Miles to Mordor: 1433.59